Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Awesome post I stole from somewhere online

 I don't know who wrote this, nor do I care. It's fucking awesome and deserves to be spread all over the Interwebz.

I don't care.

I don't contribute.

My shoulders are non-absorbent, so crying on them is futile. Your tears mean nothing to me anymore. I'm looking at you with an expression-less face.

You say I'm cold? Your ridiculous pop-psych and empowerment bullshit is completely irrelevant to my life.

So tell me. What exactly do you bring to my table? Tits? Ass? An occasional begrudgeoned birthday BJ? Home-cooked meals? A capable long-term mom raising our children? Financial responsibility? A pleasant attitude and demeanor?

Serious. Do you bring anything of value for men to my table that I can't get elsewhere for less hassle? Anything. Sell it to me. I'm all ears with checkbook, ring, and pen-in-hand. It's open discussion. Let's talk. Hmm.


Why should I pay your inflated premium when I can pump/dump some random chick for free? Men didn’t write the revised Team Vagina rulebook. Acceptance of these “relationshit” scenarios speaks volumes to your human character and lack thereof.

So, there's no need to suit up in the dented, battle-scarred White Knight armor anymore. The charger is long since put out to pasture, the lance broken in two and discarded, the "noble battle-standard" blood-stained and moth-eaten.

I've been in the ruins of the castle... Watched the creeping vines take everything and crush it into rubble, seen the parapets collapse onto themselves time and time again. The fantasyland you speak of is no more, and you're no princess... of that I am absolute certain.

Thus I will not "man up" and play the cuckold for the child of some arrogant ass who mounted you and left after he planted his seed inside you. I won't forgive you for betraying or attempting to betray my trust. Once you step out of this threshold there is no going back. No mulligan nor do-over will be offered playing your teary-eyed games.

You will take NOTHING from me. You will offer what you can, and if it is found acceptable I may accept it. That said, most of your kind have nothing of value to offer anyways. Of the few who do show some promise, I *might* partake in carnal endeavors, but there will be no tying bonds established, nor any loyalty shown. I shall play by your rules in that matter. And like a bus, there’s always another one coming along every few minutes.

You say you are fallen angels. I say you are imps, pigs, and slovenly beasts. Your kind was once capable of being spell-binding, almost ethereal with charm, soft wit, grace, beauty, and submissive mastery of their femininity. Now, you all smugly waddle into view with the swagger of a drunken over-tatted whore with charm befitting a mangy, hydrophobic cur.

Vipers, one and all. 

"Ladies"...I am initiating Total Bastard Mode, and you either like that (and some of you undoubtedly will... ) or you take your stench elsewhere while I freely breathe freedom air.