This piece
is written by request. Someone on a forum I visit posted an article from
Forbes, yet another of the “Where Have All the Good Men Gone” hamster-trots. A
fellow poster replied with ‘Where are all the "shut up you tiresome
cunt" articles?’. I said I’d write one. I’m such a charitable person. Whether
this has the quality of my usual work is open for debate, but it’s not a debate
I’ll be taking part in.
The article
we were commenting on is completely interchangeable with, well, pretty much
EVERY one of the millions of other articles in the same vein. One of these
‘professional’ women was bemoaning her inability to find a PERFECT man, and
blaming the male population. Like it’s somehow our fault that her list of
requirements eliminates roughly 99.998% of us from her prospective dating pool,
and the remaining .002% want nothing to do with her. It’s OUR fault that she
has such high expectations. After all, how hard should it be for a 30 something
career woman who’s been riding the cock carousel for 15 years to find a man
with a bachelor’s degree AND a white collar job AND heterosexual AND unmarried
AND amazing AND in perfect shape AND AND AND….ad infinitum, ad nauseum. Et
cetera.
I’m going to
use myself as an example here. Not because I’m some egomaniacal twit, but
because I can speak about myself in a way that I can’t speak of anyone else,
simply by virtue of the fact that I have firsthand knowledge of me. The
following is fact, observation, and theory. It is NOT me bragging on myself.
First off, I don’t do that, because I don’t need to, and secondly, I’m not
trying to impress anyone, since I figure the audience for this piece will be almost
exclusively male. And I’m completely heterosexual.
I’m college
educated, and not some soft-headed junk like psychology, either. Think
engineering. I’m an attractive guy; I know this. I’ve gotten compliments, and
been hit on, by women ranging in age from mid-teens to mid-50’s. It’s
flattering, and sometimes disappointing. It really sucks to have some very
attractive girl flirting with you and hitting on you, then discover she’s 17. I’m
intelligent, funny, good conversationalist, and apparently I’m about the
perfect blend of ‘alpha male’ and…something else. I’m not exactly sure what
that ‘something else’ is, though.
I recently went out with a girl 15 years
younger than me, and whereas I thought the night was going nowhere (and that
didn’t bother me a bit), when I was going to drop her off SHE initiated a kiss
with me, then proceeded to grab my junk and get very pretty enthusiastic about
our pawing each other. Long story short, I got another first-date bang. She
asked me a couple days later if I usually did that, and I didn’t think so. But
I did the math, and I’m sitting at an almost 80% first-date-bang rate. Women
keep telling me they feel ‘safe’ or ‘comfortable’ with me (this one was another
that said that she felt comfortable with me). I don’t know what the hell that
means, other than they are ready and eager to have sex with me after only
knowing me for a few hours, but you know what? I’ll take it.
Oh, and
according to more than a couple of the women I’ve been with, I’m quite skilled
and sized nicely. These were comments I received without solicitation, by the
way. I don’t ask. I don’t need to, my ego doesn’t require stroking. Hell, even
my ex-wife told me I was a lot better in bed than the guy she was banging on
the side (she told me this after our divorce was final. I just wanted to make
that clear.) I’ve gotten rather adept at making women have muscle spasms/shake
from their uterus all the way down their legs. Maybe not the first time we have
sex, and maybe not EVERY time we have sex, but more than they’re used to. My
last girlfriend, who was 23 at the time, had never experienced that before. You’re
welcome.
I also have
this unique quality that I consider a bit of a curse. I first noticed it when I
was 18 and ‘seeing’ (read: hanging out with and banging…yet another first “date”
bang) the older sister of this guy who was friends with my neighbor and
now-former friend. That quality is, women tend to fall for me hard and fast. I
don’t know why, but I keep seeing the same thing, time and again.
First-date-bang (or just oral), some time spent together for a week or two, and
they’re completely in love with me. Well, as close to love as women are capable
of getting, anyway.
I’m not the
most skilled or knowledgeable guy when it comes to handyman type stuff, but I
get the job done. Another thing my ex used to comment on was my ability to
figure things out. I may start out with a bunch of pipes, some tools, and no
knowledge whatsoever, but by the end of the day I’d have finished fixing
whatever plumbing problem I was attempting to tackle. Same thing with repairs
to my truck or house, car stereo equipment, etc. It was one of the things she
loved/hated about me (like all women, she was more than a little jealous of my
ability to GET THINGS DONE).
I generally
treat people with at least some measure of respect, until they’ve either earned
more or squandered what they had initially. I may not exactly be ‘friendly’ to
random strangers, but I’m cordial and polite.
I’ve also
been told, by numerous people and on more than one occasion, that I’m quite
intimidating. Especially when people know my background (I was a Marine rifleman).
Apparently I give off this vibe that I’m not going to take any shit, and will
forcibly remove the throat of anyone who chooses to give me any. If I do, it’s
not on purpose. No, I don’t want to take any shit, and I don’t want to give any
shit. I’m not in the shit business. But I don’t actively cultivate this vibe. Sometimes
my *friends* will do so for me, usually when we’re out bar-crawling and someone
they don’t want to put up with is interrupting our night out. But I myself don’t
go looking for trouble.
I work for a
living, rather than living off The System or engaging in crime. When I got out
of the military, the job service wouldn’t help me find a job unless I signed up
for unemployment. Even though I told them I didn’t WANT unemployment, I wanted
a job, they weren’t moved. I got unemployment for 3 weeks, then I went to a
temp agency and took a $9 an hour job driving a forklift.
Since then I’ve
had some jobs where I made pretty decent, or even really good, pay, as well as
various benefits. Including the one I’m about to start. By my figuring, with an
average amount of overtime I should be able to make about $50-$55K a year,
maybe more if I can get a position as a welder, or if I move from the
maintenance crew to a yard crew or something.
My car isn’t
T.H.E. greatest vehicle on the road (it’s a 5 year old Civic), but it still
runs great, it’s clean inside, and it looks good aside from a couple places
that my ex damaged it when she had it.
So let’s sum
that all up: attractive, educated, employed, sexually skilled, good with women,
‘bad boy’ alpha vibe, and with enough cash to be able to go places and do
things.
Even though
I’d be an excellent choice for the women writing the articles I was talking
about above as far as dating material goes, they won’t ever even consider me.
Why not?
Yeah, I know, the typical audience for this piece already knows the answer to
that. But let me finish my writing, ok? Thanks.
First off,
and this is a biggie, my college degree is only an Associate’s. Ooooooh, that’s
an automatic deal-breaker right there. “Must have at least a Bachelor’s degree”.
I was working on one when my now-ex wife destroyed that goal, like so many
others. In a way, though, I’m glad she did. You see….
I’m no
white-collar type. I’ve had a job where I sat on my ass in an office; it
sucked. The hardest part was trying to stay awake. Next hardest was finding
something to do to make the time pass. This is part of why I do not currently
have, nor do I expect I ever WILL have, a bachelor’s degree. I just can’t sit
in an office and move numbers or shuffle papers all day. I prefer to operate a
machine, or better yet, weld. Fixing things is a good choice, too.
I’m
attractive, but not in the way these ‘professional’ types want. What that
means, I don’t know exactly. Hell, I doubt they know. Maybe I have too many
tattoos? Maybe I look TOO much like someone who’s liable to rip a throat out,
and not enough like some candyass investment banker (apologies to any
investment bankers reading this). Maybe it’s because I shave my head, rather
than be vain and attempt to fight Nature and genetics who conspired to give me
a very prominent widow’s peak at 16, and thinning hair up top at 20. Maybe it’s
because I prefer to wear jeans or cutoff military camo pants and a t-shirt, or
Dickies work pants and a button-up work shirt, over looking like the guys from “A
Night at the Roxbury”. Military-type boots or Chuck Taylor’s are on my feet,
not Italian loafers or something like that. My leather footwear comes from cows,
not lambs, stingrays, or anything else, and can be used to kick down a door, or
kick in a skull.
I don’t
drive a BMW. I could afford one, if I really wanted it, but it just doesn’t
seem like a good use of money. For what I’d pay for a BMW, I can buy a Civic, a
nice computer, a big TV, a Sony Playtsation 3 (or PS4, when it hits shelves),
some games, another couple of rifles, and a prostitute that will not only look
better than these career women, she’ll be younger, more pleasant to be around,
and quite likely will have had fewer sexual partners, too. This seems like a
much better use of my funds than a fancy car.
Yes, I fail
to meet the unrealistically high expectations of these women who are crying
about their inability to find a man who’s “dateworthy”.
And that
makes me happy. Very, very happy.
I, like so
many other men, want nothing to do with these ‘professional’ women. They’ve
been riding the cock carousel for 15 years; they’re used up. They’ve been
banging every ganger, scumbag, biker, and criminal they could get into a stall
in the bathroom of the club or bar. If they don’t have a little thuglet or two,
it’s only by some miracle or the intervention of a doctor with a wet/dry vac, a
coathanger, and a jar of salt.
Their
attitudes are absolutely horrendous. Entitlement princesses one and all. They’re
arrogant in the extreme, condescending, narcissistic, and without anything
resembling morals or scruples. Even more so than other women (remember,
AWALT!), they are soulless monsters just looking for a victim. I would rather
date a 22 year old who’s a 5 or 6 in appearance, with a nice personality and a
low-paying job, than one of these 30+ year old women who’s an 8 or a 9.
Now they’ve
hit the wall, and they’re looking for a sucker/walking ATM to ‘have a future
with’ (read: marry, cheat on, and then clean out in the divorce).
Well girls,
like Credence Clearwater said, and The Dropkick Murphys later repeated, “That
ain’t me”.
Even though
the answers to their questions are right in front of them, they keep up with
these mindless “Where Have All The Good Men Gone?” articles, trying to shame
men into doing what cupcake wants.
Damn, are we
sick of hearing it.
You done
fucked up. Time to examine yourself, reflect on the choices you’ve made, your
attitudes, your demeanor, how to treat other people, all that jazz.
But women
are basically incapable of that, and so, we get shaming articles, or articles
telling us how there are no men ‘worthy’ of you used-up, post-Wall,
entitlement-mentality twats.
I will be
spending my future hunting, fishing, buying and shooting firearms, hanging out
with my friends, drinking beer and playing pool on the weekends, playing video
games, doing whatever I damn well please WHENEVER I damn well please, and
banging whatever female strikes my fancy. You know, enjoying life.
And you, my
dears, get to look forward to a future of sitting in your fancy apartment,
surrounded by $250K worth of shoes, eating ice cream directly from the carton,
watching Lifetime, and crying to your 5 cats about how lonely you are.
Bed. Made.
Lie.
And shut the
HELL up, you vile, tiresome cunts.
