Monday, January 6, 2014

Don't be a resolutionary

It's my least favorite time of year again. Even though I actually like winter, I dislike this time of year. It's filled with bullshit 'holidays', esp. that most notorious of made-up Hallmark Holidays, Valentine's Day. I have always thought this was a special load of bollocks, since who the hell really needs a special day to tell someone how much you care for them? Ah, but see, I was mistaken, because what it's actually about is how many goodies a twatmonster can get from a man. Silly me.

The made-up bullshit 'holidays' don't really have an effect on my life, however. Sure, depending on where I was working, I might get a paid day off. Big deal.

But this is also the time of year that the resolutionaries come out. You know those chuckleheads that make New Year's resolutions, and make some kind of positive change for all of about 3 weeks before they go back to doing whatever they were doing in the first place? Yup, those are resolutionaries.

The resolutionaries that irritate me the most are the ones that 'resolve' to get in shape or lose weight. And this is entirely because they have the most impact on me. If someone decides to quit tobacco, unless they are preaching at me about tobacco they don't really affect me. But the 'get in shape' resolutionaries....bleh! They make a nuisance out of themselves at the gym for anywhere from 2 days to 6 weeks, though 3 weeks seems to be about the average.

I go to the gym VERY early in the morning. Part of that is so that I don't have to deal with attentionwhoring twatmonsters, but another part is because I really don't like having to wait on someone else to finish using a bench, someone who most likely will not clean their sweat off of it but also won't re-rack their weights. Or who will use a bench for a minute, leave their weights on the bar, then go use the treadmill for 20 minutes or something, then come back and want to use the bench and act like YOU are the asshole because you put their weights back and started using it yourself. Excuse the fuck outta me?

Normally I manage to avoid these types by going so early. But not when it's resolutionary season.

Self-improvement is great. Getting yourself into shape (other than 'round') is a good thing. But for the love of all that's good and holy, please do some self-reflection periodically throughout the year and make improvements as they come to mind. This shit of waiting until January 1st is for the birds. It's not hunting season, there is no specified time you must start.

Don't be a resolutionary. Just don't.

Stay single, my friends.